Wordly Andre

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Posts by Wordly Andre

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  5

  Parking lot encounter, but not with JW's...

  by DesertRat in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  yesterday (monday) while getting out of my car in a supermarket parking lot, i was approached by two well-dressed young men carrying bibles.

  at the first instant i froze, thinking that they were 'you-know-whos.

  ' it should have occurred to me right then, from the fact that both were wearing white shirts, black ties, & name tags, that i was not dealing with jw's.. my immediate response was to say that i was not interested but thanks anyway.

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  Wordly Andre

  I haven't with LDS, but all the time with those Victory Outreach guys, I mean they are kind of nice and funny but damn they look like gangsta's I think they are just trading in one addiction for another.
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  40

  Brooke Autumn Ehlert is on JWD!(not hiding anymore).....attempt #2...lol

  by whyamihere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for those who are in my old congregation "lurking" for me here i am ......i have gotten word through the "almighty jw gossip grapevine" someone is spying on me.. brooke autumn ehlert!.

  i had a full thread about this but i used names, dates, and personal info - which unknowingly to me some rules i must have forgotten to follow .. if you would like the full thread pm me your e-mail,(not sending through jwd pm) and i will send it to you.

  even the lurkers are welcome to read what i have to say!.

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  Wordly Andre

  Hey Brooke Why not have some fun, I'd mail self DF letters to Bethel for each of your elders in your hall, do them the favor of DF each of them. ha ha ha
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  38

  Mom just told she would dime me out and get me disfellowshipped

  by What-A-Coincidence in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my momma walked in caught me dozing and she saw what was on my desk ... a bottle of coffee liqueur.. she said if i get drunk she would talk to the elders and have me disfellowshipped.

  you would do me that favor???

  i didn't say that but i thought it.. .

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  Wordly Andre

  WAC

  There is nothing wrong with Jesus Juice, tell your mom you heard that from Brother Jackson

  Andre
• 
  68

  What Did You LOVE About Being a Jehovah's Witness?

  by Seeker4 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ok. minimus had his 'what did you hate about being a jw' thread, so i want to take a different tack on this.

  i'll even start it.

  i loved some of the get-togethers we had.

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  Wordly Andre

  Egg Muffins

  Cheese Danish

  Shasta Soda

  Ha ha ha its almost lunch time over here maybe I'm just hungry
• 
  59

  What outward signs of apostacy are evident in your house?

  by AK - Jeff in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  if the elders came and inspected your home - what would they find?.

  a casual look around reveals a box of "narnia" tissues on my desk, 12 or 14 non-witness translations of bibles on my shelves, many non approved novels [wifey's] on the reading table, plenty of 'apostate literature', a book or two on meditation, a hypnosis cd for weight loss, prob many toys that are not witness approved in the g-kids room, a half eaten birthday cake, a birthday balloon, xmas wrapping paper in the closet , a couple of r rated movies, music that is not acceptable.. that is just at first blush.

  how is your house?

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  Wordly Andre

  Crucifix over the front door.

  Holy water from California Missions

  Baby Jesus

  Rosary in every bedroom

  Catholic Bible

  "Way of the Cross" book in my library

  Many guns and other weapons

  My DVD Collection, Exorcist, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, the Crime of Father Amarro, Harry Potter, etc.

  My Humidor and collection of cigars

  Probably over half of my books in my library, WWII, Catholic, and Harry Potter

  Little Saint Francis Statue in my hall way

  Archangel Micheal metal on my desk

  US Flag in the front of my house.
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  44

  IF they were right

  by KW13 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  imagine you woke up in a paradise earth that was inhabited by jehovahs witnesses.

  what would your reaction be?

  personally i'd feel sick (if my perfect body would allow that lol) as eternity stuck with them, would be worse than hell.

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  Wordly Andre

  My Diary,

  Day 1.

  I sneak down to local gunshop in the cover of darkness, somehow avoiding being spotted by elders, and stock up on ammo.

  Day 2.

  I climbs the tallest building in the city, trying to decide to use my Winchester 30-06 or My Russian M1 that I outfitted with a better scope?? What the hell load em both

  Day 3.

  My finger is starting to cramp up a bit but still picking off them bastards.

  Day 4.

  Mixing up a few cocktails for the Kingdumb halls still standing, have my self a nice bonfire, break open a pack of marshmellows.

  Day 5.

  Elders are gathering up a group for counter attack, seems like they didn't destroy all the weapons after all.

  Day 5.

  They got me while I was sleeping I am now hanging from a tree with a smile on my face.
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  16

  your momma is...

  by moomanchu in

  1. social
  2. humour

  the wbts.. u can say or do anything u like but, do not disrespect your momma.. .

  your momma got so much real estate she makes donald trump look like donald duck.. lets get a list goin.

  i'm sure u guys can do better.

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  Wordly Andre

  Your momma's feet are so big she uses pillowcases as socks
• 
  20

  "The end is nigh"

  by PopeOfEruke in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  just got a message from a relative attending the dc.

  this seems to be the big announcement from the convention:

  the end is nigh!

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  Wordly Andre

  Ah don' wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your Mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries
• 
  16

  Would you honor your relatives request for no blood?

  by free2beme in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as i get older, i realize that a time could come where i could find my spouse and i in a situation where we could have our parents in a situation of needing blood to live and us having to speak on their behalf.

  with that in mind, i know that the medical directive is not enough and they do try to get family members to do the blood to save them.

  i know this, as it happened with my mother and my dad had her take blood.

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  Wordly Andre

  Some of my relatives I would even go as far as no oxygen
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  42

  What is the "Unforgivable Sin?"

  by mkr32208 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i know the pat answer is "grieving the holy spirit" but how does one do that?

  i asked some elders who were attempting to meet with me but they seemed unsure... .

  publicly!

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  Wordly Andre

  First Shopping list

  Large piece of Chaulk, Candles, Bones, a black cape, fake blood and several copies of the watchtowers.

  during a meeting you choose which one thursday night or sunday meeting dress up all in black, while everyone is inside the meeting sit in the parking lot draw a large pentagram sit in the middle of it light the candles, lay out the bones burn the watchtowers but only half way and pour the fake blood over it.

  I don't know anything about witchcraft or vodoo but just the sight alone will make them leave you and your whole entire family alone.

  At the very least they will all have nightmares that night.